18 December 2010

Moving Back Home After College: It's All About Perspective

As a young adult, recently graduated from college, it can be tough to move back home. It's a slap in the face to your ego and everything you've busted your ass for while partying away parent-free in college the last four years. If you do decide to go back home, do not listen to what other have to say about it. You're an adult now, meaning you make your own decisions that benefit your life. Yet, if you do give in to the judgment of others (say, friends or fellow alumni who are on their own...) you'll be going back home with resentment and a negative attitude, and trust me, you're making your life miserable with a hanging feeling of failure.

But really, my generation is known for moving out, moving back home, moving back out, then moving back home again because it's a tough fucked up job market if you're a recent graduate.

Like I said, it's all about your perspective. It's all about YOU.

I recently graduated with a Bachelor's degree, worked a few contracted jobs in Los Angeles, and now I'm moving back home. During my time in LA, I moved into an apartment that was the bottle of the barrel cheap for the area I was in. The bedroom was directly above a raunchy old bar with a loud jukebox pounding bad 90's rock and bassy reggae-ton music until 2am. My car's license plate was knocked off the first night I left it on the "camera surveillanced" street parking, probably my some angry drunk customer who failed to parallel park correctly. The place was also inhabited by hungry bugs eating holes into my favorite jeans, sweaters, and cotton shirts. Oh yeah, plus it was the size of a shoe box in which I had to choreograph moves to cook in the kitchen at the same time as my boyfriend. Not to mention that Los Angeles is loaded with angry drivers and unfavorable customer service in many local businesses.

I was living in my dream city, but I was hating it.

Why? Because my perspective sucked. I was focusing on all the horrible things about the apartment that stressed me out and I disliked. All I worried about and talked about was the creepy bar customers, the city traffic, and how I never had peace and quiet at home. When I talked to friends about living in Los Angeles, I didn't mention the killer price for a cute vintage studio with it's own private balcony overlooking downtown. Nope, never did, because my perspective sucked. 

Now, if I continue to have a shitty attitude about my current situation, then life will be shitty. It's time to stop complaining and start focusing on everything that is beautiful, in order to receive what is beautiful.

How does all this relate to moving back home? Well, while I was in LA I struggled a bit to find a job that fulfilled me and that paid enough for me to move to a nice swanky hard wooded condo on the West side. Don't get me wrong, I was positive about finding jobs, I found jobs and they found me. But there were not fulfilling careers that I would be able to stick with. My new hobby was turning down job offers.

Luckily, mom gave me the option to move back home rent-free, as long as I found some kind of income and helped around the house. I didn't see this as a step back or think of myself as a failure. Instead, I saw an opportunity

In many Latino cultures and and Latino families (like mine) in the states, children live at home with their parents until their mid to late twenties or until they get married. Many other kinds of families kick their kids out at the age of 18, pushing them into the dirty world of capitalism, cramped cubicle jobs in the dog-eat-dog city hoping that the little birdy would grow it's wings and fly out of the nest. Many of the birdies spiral down the path of pay check to pay check lifestyles hating their jobs and engulfed in finance troubles and paying back high interest loans. As a result, many young adults are forced to take the first corporate position that pays for the nice little apartment on the nice side of town, stressing the fuck out thinking about how they're going to pay for next month's rent. This is not my fate.

No, I do not plan to make this move permanent. Maybe a few months or a couple of years at the very most, just until I can find the perfect niche in this world that is calling for me. It's really all about your perspective on your current situation.
I've realized that moving back home is an opportunity for personal growth and a slower more artistic lifestyle. Saving up some good cash without the burden of rent will let me know explore other ways of expanding my career. Recently, I've been discovering the secrets to my own personal success: listen to your gut and change your crappy perspective.

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